


Monochrome

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5949280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Louis died, Harry's Instagram was black and white by choice. After Louis died, he didn't know how to post in color.</p><p>*Super short ficlet of Harry being sad*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monochrome

His Instagram had always been in black and white. There used to be something soothing about the monochromatic theme. Everything blended together, it looked sleek, it looked professional, it looked...lifeless.

Harry hated his Instagram.

He hated how the lack of color no longer represented a choice; the lack of color was merely a representation of what the world looked like. Everything around Harry was in grayscale and he missed seeing the yellows, the greens, the reds.

Harry missed seeing blue.

He knew that, scientifically, the world around him still existed in color. Harry hadn’t actually gone colorblind and the world hadn’t been drained of its hue. But just like his favorite food now tasted like dust and his silk sheets felt no different from sand, Harry could not gather his thoughts or emotions well enough to appreciate the colors around him.

So he continued posting in black and white, and he continued to wear floral suits and sparkling boots and he didn’t even consider cutting his hair. Just because Harry felt like everything that once made him so unique, so _alive_ , was gone; it didn’t mean that he had to look that way. His grief was his own. The media had sucked away so much of the time he should have gotten to spend with Louis, Harry refused to give them this. He would continue his life just to spite them. Louis would have been proud.

But everything in his life was so painful.

Their flat was too big, the little touches of _Louis_ visible in every room. Harry hadn’t been able to step inside of it since that day and he hated himself for it.

Music grated on his ears. Never mind the fact that Harry had managed to avoid every song that carried Louis’ voice; every song ever written had a way of reminding Harry of what he lost.

Football was shit. Harry never been enthusiastic about it, but now he hated it.

Even the lads were too much, no matter the fact that they meant well. How could they expect Harry to go out with them when Louis’ absence left an almost physical hole in their dynamic?

And even though Harry missed seeing color, he didn’t know if he could look at that shade of blue again without collapsing. He had held himself together at Louis’ bedside. Held himself together at the funeral, during the press release, the single interview he had granted the public to confirm that he had not joined Louis in the grave (no matter how much that seemed to be the best idea).

Harry wouldn’t be able to stand seeing that blue if it wasn’t twinkling at him from the eyes of the most wonderful man in the world.

Black and white was definitely the safer option, and Harry didn’t think he would ever post in color again.

**Author's Note:**

> (Football here is referring to soccer, not like US football)


End file.
